Feeling Frustrated and demoralised

Sometimes, i feel that i have wasted my 8 years of learning the piano. I have not achieved anything during my 8 years of piano pracitising. Seriously, i have learnt rubbish in my past 9 years. I am afraid i have to relearn the piano under my current teacher, i am getting frustrated with my amateurish style of playing the piano, my previous piano teachers has guide me the wrong way... how can i become a good pianist with my amateur style of playing.

I have a lot of bad habits when it comes to playing the piano, too much hand movements, i am still caressing the piano, didnt play deeper, still have to be reminded of the tempo, rhythm... everything that i have learnt in the past 8 years is gone. I am frustrated that i didnt do well for my grade 7 and 8. My playing is deproving... i could not even handle a fugue voice properly... i am so frustrated and rather demoralise now...

Worst of all, i do not have much time left... THanks to the NS.. it shortened my life and youth... maybe i should be an unromantic war writer. Right.. i dont agree with Henry Fleming in the Red Badge of Courage, going into army doesnt change the person to be a man. It is a stupid rite of passage.. it's a waste of time. How i wish i can be excused from NS. NS just sucks!!! It just made male slower than female by 2 years. A waste of time.. i just want to concentrate on my music.. improve on my amateur style of playing....