Do or break time

Argh!!! just received the message that i have to go for SNYO tour auditon next tuesday, 29 march @ 7pm.. i just got the score today lar... freaking stressed now...

Going to Vienna is always my dream.. i will not let this oppurtunity slip away...

Something to work towards to: Vienna trip from 7th July 2005 to 16 july 2005. Yes! I want to go and am dying to go...

Feeling determined!

Back to normal ways?

Sometimes i wonder... i am back to the old me again... stilll not so confident of myself....

Debut as an Orchestra member of SNYO

Today. i have made my long waited debut (as an orchestra member) for SNYO... i thought that the concert was great...

I have only rehearse for 4 times with the SNYO, considered that i joined the main on 5th march. Oh man, i am in love with Dvorak's New World Symphony.. i cant forget the tune.. it is nice...

Yup.. hope that i can go Vienna with them *cross fingers*... (15 + 1 violist leh... (+1 violist because some ppl never attend rehearsal before since i rehearse with the main... dunnoe if she ever existed!) and they are only bringing 80 plus ppl and there are 100+ members.. ok.. minus those ppl who dont want to go.. will left 90 plus.. but then i think they will have to cut the no. of violist involved.. sighZ.. *prays hard*...

18 years 1 day old...

yeap... glad that i have survived 18 years of life.. when life is so unpredictable.. where deaths are prevalant... anything can happen to us one day...

Seriously, i think the most important thing in life is to stay happy. Life is full of ups and downs, stress are common.. and it had brought depression to many people. What ever happens to us, whatever challenges and obstacles we face, the most important thing is to take things in the positive light so it will be easy to deal with <-- yep, that is actually what one of a 12 year old girl told me..

I know of a few ppl currently suffering from depression.. depression over family matters, school etc.. it's really unhealthy and it will be quite serious if thoughts of commiting suicide avails...

I seriously wish that my friends would be happy.. yup.. that's my birthday wish for this year.. of course, i do have my own personal birthday wish which i wont list it out... (it's suppose to be personal lar.. haha)

Ok.. i am going to end here... Just hope that whoever reads this blog at this moment of time will try to stay happy no matter... take things in the positive side.. it's all the power of the mind...

Turning Point

Nothing can describe the estacy and the mood that i am in now! Right? what the hell happened? Let's say... a probable turning point in my music life?

Seriously, i have been looking for motivation to push me to work hard... coz right before this significant event, i have been experiencing failures after failures.. i just couldnt find something to push me to work.. not even words can do it...

This event has come in a significant moment... really... (what is it?)

Oh well... i had my SYO assessment today... yup... and i managed to get promoted (on trial) to the main orchestra.. (all right.. it's just a small issue for some ppl.. there's nothing to brag about...) it's not about getting promoted that i am happy about.. but rather.. i am more of surprised, shocked.. didnt really expect it...

To tell you the truth, i dont have much expectations before this assessment.. this assessment is kind of a do-or-break... seriously... i had a fair grade for my first assessment... and a warning letter: telling me that if i dont do better for my next assessment.. they will probably have to ask me leave... (yup.. anyway, that's casteels...) so this assessment today is rather important, another failure or didnt make it to the main will result me in leaving the orchestra (considering i am already a J2). i went to today's assessment with fear, demoralised, low self confidence.. preparation wasnt that good either, i do not have viola lessons for weeks...

All right, let me narrate to you what happen in the assessment room today...
I walk in to the room, greet the conductor and ms cheong... and also pass the form to them for them to assess.

Mr Lim started by asking.. which part is the most difficult passage out of the entire 4th movement... i kept quiet, dont want to say anything.. as i dont want to commit suicide for the start of the assessment... and mr Lim chooses the part with the viola playing the counter melody... thank goodness... not really that difficult except for a shift to the 2nd position... (that's the first page).. after that... here comes a real challenge for me... ( i am not really prepared for this passage...(yup.. for those who has the score.. the one after figure 10, viola melody).. but thank goodness.. i manage to scrap through.. it didnt go well at first... with some wrong notes and all that... but mr lim ended up saying "very good"..
the next one is the one after fig. 6, the spiccato viola melody... yup... quite prepared for that.. mr lim showed me the way to play it.. and i did what he told me.. and he keeps saying "very good" throughout the assessment... and the whole thing ended with a D major scale... after that.. mr Lim asked me if i am interested to play for this march 19 concert... Of coz i agreed to it... hahaaha.. and he told me to go for rehearsal today at 2pm. :)
After that, ms cheong asked me whether i can make for the trip to vienna if i am selected.. i didnt give her a reply yet as i have to ask my dad.. but later... yup.. i am able to go...

yup.. that's all for the assessment... i am still feeling rather delighted that i am going to make my YO debut on 19 march... this news will motivate me to work even harder on the piano and viola.. yup... and my wish now is to be selected for the trip to Vienna and also able to stay in the main orchestra after 19 march (considering it's just a trial) ...

Reactivating my old motto (from Boxer of the animal farm): I will work harder!